Dark Suckers

For years many people have believed that electricity passing through certain metals or other substances causes emission of light. People all over the world use light bulbs so that they can see what they are doing. Research has shown which combinations of energies and substances produce results like that of these light bulbs, but none has shown that they actually do emit light. Light bulbs actually do not emit light; but instead, they suck dark.

Admittedly, the name "light bulb" implies that the object is a source of light. This name is merely a result of misconceptions of light bulb manufacturers such as General Electric and Sylvania. Mello Yello implies that the product is both mellow and yellow, but even the company that markets it recants this, explaining that "there's nothing mellow about it." Light bulbs are the same way; the name implies something that actually has little or nothing to do with the product.

Granted, some may argue that someone has proven that light is emitted when a lamp is turned on. This is a false statement, since nobody can even prove that light actually exists. For years confusion has existed over whether light should classify as a particle, a wave, or both. Dark, on the other hand, is a much simpler thing, which scientists have never stayed awake at night because they couldn't decide if it was a wave or a particle.

Light is usually a loosely defined word. One definition is "an extreme lack of dark." The word "dark" is part of this definition; hence, dark must exist and also have a definition that is quite clear elsewhere in the dictionary containing that particular definition of light. Sucking dark, therefore, interprets more precisely than emitting light.

According to Holly Stowe, the amount of dark increases with the distance from the "dark sucker," commonly called a light bulb. This shows that light bulbs have limited ranges. For instance, Jeremy, who is standing next to a speaker at the MxPx concert, is able to hear less silence than Rob, who is standing at the back of the crowd. That, along with the fact that most of the laws of the universe have patterns, shows that light bulbs must actually affect dark, not light, because less dark is near them, but not less light.

Easily observable by putting an object between a light bulb and the point from which the observer is looking, more dark is on the side of the solid object that does not face the light bulb. To explain, when someone turns on a vacuum at a sandy beach, the vacuum sucks the sand into the its holding facility. If one were to place an object such as a shovel between the operating vacuum and some of the sand, the amount of sand will be greater on the side of the shovel opposite the vacuum. People commonly accept that vacuums suck, thus light bulbs must also suck because blocking the substance that either of these appliances is sucking causes the substance to remain where it was before the hindrance was in place.

Light bulbs cease operation after a period of time, regardless of whether of not they were victims of misuse. In the event that a light bulb falls from a great height, it becomes inoperative the instant it hits the ground, but this is a from of misuse. The light-emittance theory provides no other explanations as to how a light bulb might refrain from operating properly. Light bulbs actually do this because they can not accommodate any more dark. This explains the black marks on a "burnt out" light bulb. It has not stored all of the dark properly, and some of it has darkened the exterior of the bulb. One who actually believes that light bulbs emit light cannot account for this phenomenon.

Light bulbs suck dark. When people say, "This room is too dark," they are using a shortened and rearranged version of, "Too much dark is in this room." Everyone encounters light bulbs, which are actually dark suckers, every day. They are present in nearly everything an industrialized country does, but until now, nobody has understood their operation. Sadly, the misleading term "light bulb" will not be changed because, like changing to the metric system, it is so much easier to just leave it the way it is now.