There once was an Ooo Ooy.  It was big.  It was a boy, like its friends, the Steve and The J.  TheJ was a famous professional pencil fighter.  The Steve was dead, because the Paul killed him in a pencil fight (before he was banned from pencil-fighting for using a pen), so he was a ghost.  The Paul would be a ghost, but it isn't possible (and it wasn't possible back then either) to kill a Paul.  The Ooo Ooy was a good demon that the Steve met after he died.

One day, the Steve was playing a game with the Ooo Ooy.  The Steve was disappearing through walls, and the Ooo Ooy would run around and look for him.  The Paul, who thought that the Ooo Ooy was cool because it was a demon, asked if he could play with them.  The Steve said that the Paul couldn't play because he killed the Steve.  The Paul got mad and left to go after The J, because The J beat the Paul in a pencil fight exactly one story ago and discovered that the Paul was cheating.

The J was practicing a new hobby that he had just made up.  It was called pencil-throwing.  His pencil lead was long enough, so he took it out of the drafting sharpener.  He brought it over to his desk and put a sharp point on it.  It had to have a very sharp point to stick into whatever it was that The J decided to throw it into.  The Paul rang the doorbell and The J turned around very quickly and his throwing pencil flew and hit the door.  The J said to come in, so the Paul did.

"I challenge you to a rematch pencil fight," said the Paul.

"Okay," said The J, "but only if YOU get a judge to decide who wins."

In about 3 minutes, 33.46 seconds, the Paul came back with a judge.  "The Ooo Ooy will be our judge," said the Paul.

"Okay," said The J, "let's start."  The Paul charged at The J, but The J moved over and the Paul broke the only real pencil he owned on the wall.  That made him even angrier, so he started slashing at The J.  The Paul thought that The J knew that the broken end of the pencil would hurt him more than a single point, so he expected The J to be more careful.  The J jumped forward and stabbed the Paul in his fighting wrist.  The Paul let out a cry of pain that the whole world heard.  An English teacher who was a good witch heard it, even though it was so far away.  The Paul was really mad now.  He charged at The J again, but this time The J was hit by the end of the Paul's pencil.  To the Paul's surprise, The J did not scream, but a circular cut appeared on his arm that he didn't use for pencil fighting.  This made the Paul wonder how The J could stand to be stabbed with a jagged pencil-end and not scream.  As the Paul was wondering about this, The J threw his pencil across the room and it went right next to the Paul's head before it hit the wall behind him and stuck in really far.  The Paul once again was surprised, but this time he ignored it and lunged for The J again.  He hit The J right in his heart, but The J wasn't even weakened.

"So!" said The J, "The great pencil fighter Paul isn't as great as he thought."

"The J wins!" said the Ooo Ooy.