Sir Jay walked into his top secret lab with the freezer (he also had a secret lab without the freezer). "How's it coming?"

"Just finishing up Captain Curt right now," said Sergeant Jess. Sir Jay walked over to a computer screen and made sure that the two serial killers that were after him were still far away. A short while after that, Sergeant Jess finished with Captain Curt. She had been using Sir Jay's cloning techniques to bring back all the people that Pastor Nancy had torn apart. They now had all the people of the M&M's galaxy in Sir Jay's lab. I know they couldn't have possibly all fit, but don't worry about that right now. Sir Jay led them to a room full of spaceships so they could all go home. He and Sergeant Jess got on the Happyfries with Captain Curt who had agreed to help them.

They headed for Pastor Nancy and Doctor Erin's ship at really fast speed. They were going to solve this problem once and for all. Sir Jay had made a few modifications on the Happyfries to make this mission easier. When they were about halfway there, Sir Jay said, "Wait a minute, where's Miss Molly?"

"Never mind that right now," said the wall, "just worry about getting those killers."

Captain Curt realized they were there and he stopped the Happyfries. Everyone flew forward from the sudden stop. A compartment popped open and Miss Molly fell out.

"Why were you in there?" asked Sir Jay.

"I wanted to come with you guys but I didn't think you'd let me."

"We would have let you," said Captain Curt.

"You must feel stupid," said Sir Jay. They tried to talk to Pastor Nancy and Doctor Erin's ship, but an ugly face they'd never seen before came up instead. "Who is that?" asked Sir Jay.

"That's Stupid Robbie," said Captain Curt. He pressed a couple of fake buttons. "Scotty, beam him aboard." A board appeared in Stupid Robbie's hand. "No, no, no. Beam him over here." Stupid Robbie appeared with the board.

"Watch this," said Sir Jay. He pressed lots of buttons that were actually real and then he pressed the big red one marked "fire." Stupid Robbie burst into flames. Miss Molly found a convenient fire extinguisher and sprayed him with it. Then she took him to see the ship's doctor. Sir Jay pressed the correct button and two little snowball things flew at the other ship and it blew up.

"That's nifty," said Captain Curt. Sir Jay pressed some more buttons and a cane appeared in Captain Curt's hand. His shoes turned into tap shoes and a top hat appeared on his head. He started dancing around singing "Hello my Baby."

"Cut that out," said Sergeant Jess, "we're on an important mission here." Sir Jay pressed a few more buttons and Captain Curt went back to normal (for him anyway). Then they went into really fast speed towards the ship they were really looking for.

When they stopped again, Stupid Robbie got smashed into the wall. "We're in orbit around their ship," said somebody who was sitting at the navigational controls.

"You idiot," said Captain Curt, "we orbit planets, not ships. For ships we just sit there."

The person at the navigational controls pressed buttons that beeped, and it looked like he was playing Simon. "Just sitting there, sir." They tried to talk to Pastor Nancy, but were hit by a flashlight beam instead. "We've lost really fast speed capabilities," said somebody. Sir Jay pressed a couple of buttons and a snowball thing flew at the ship. "The enemy ship has lost power," said that guy again, "Good shot, sir." Sir Jay took Sergeant Jess by the arm and brought her down to the beam machine room.

"Scotty," said Sir Jay, "beam everyone from that ship over here." Scotty started hitting the necessary buttons while Sergeant Jess got out her army issue really big gun and Sir Jay got out his magical glowing stick and switched it on. By the time Pastor Nancy and Doctor Erin were there, The really big gun was already aimed at them and Sir Jay was ready with his magical glowing stick. They took the two serial killers and locked them in the bad guys' room.

By the time Pastor Nancy realized they were locked up, the ship's really fast speed capabilities had been found again. Somebody had put it in a little cabinet and forgot where it was. Pastor Nancy knocked on the walls all the way around the room to see if it sounded hollow anywhere. She smashed the mirror and they both climbed into the long narrow passage behind it.

"Great, a dead end," said Doctor Erin.

"Shh!" whispered Pastor Nancy. She looked through the two-way mirror that Doctor Erin thought was a dead end. Sir Jay, Sergeant Jess, Miss Molly, and Stupid Robbie were in the guest room. Pastor Nancy and Doctor Erin backed up so they could run and jump through the mirror because they thought it would look cool.

"Ha!" said Doctor Erin for no particular reason. Sir Jay rolled a small gas capsule over to where the two serial killers were standing. The rest of them put their hands in the air. The gas capsule released its gas, causing the serial killers to be temporarily distracted by the awful smell. Sir Jay and the others held their noses and ran past them into the passage.

Somewhere between the two rooms, Sir Jay jumped up and caught hold of a ladder. The others followed him and they heard Pastor Nancy jump into the passage. On their way up the ladder, Sir Jay pressed a button on the end of his sleeve and said, "Captain Curt to deck 23." Sir Jay jumped backwards off the ladder and they ran down the passage. They stopped at the end and Miss Molly pressed a button that made the mirror swing out so they didn't have to break it and have bad luck.

"What's going on here?" asked Captain Curt as he walked in the door. Pastor Nancy and Doctor Erin came out of the passage. Sir Jay got out his magical glowing stick and forgetting something important, swung it in a circle, creating a life saver. Pastor Nancy picked it up and threw it at him. Sir Jay ducked. The life saver hit a button on one of the computer things. The screen showed the message: self-destruct initiated. Even though the ship was going to blow up, Pastor Nancy really wanted Sir Jay out of her way. She got her magical glowing stick out (hers was red) and started fighting Sir Jay. Captain Curt was at the computer trying to stop the self-destruct from self-destructing. Miss Molly got the rest of them into a corner where they'd be out of the way of the fighters. Stupid Robbie ran in circles around the room.

"We're going to die!" he shouted over and over. Captain Curt (who was having no success in shutting down the self-destruct) got hit by Stupid Robbie and was thrown into the corner with the others. Sir Jay looked over there and Stupid Robbie continued to run around the room. Pastor Nancy swung at him and he turned around just in time to block it. He flew into the corner and hit a button. A door closed him and the other three in and the escape capsule that they had thought was merely a corner was launched from the ship. The ship exploded as Sir Jay and Captain Curt watched through the escape capsule's window. It would have been really loud if sound could travel through empty space.

"My ship!" cried Captain Curt.

"Don't worry," said Sir Jay, "it was only a copy. I have three more of them anyway."

"Looks like we're finally rid of those two," said Sergeant Jess. Sir Jay wasn't so sure.

It was a long and cramped ride back to Sir Jay's top secret lab with the freezer. After going through 99 bottles of beer on the wall three times, they realized that that song gets quite annoying after a while. They started singing 98 bottles of beer on the wall instead. They only made it halfway through that one when they smacked into the surface of the planet with Sir Jay's secret lab with the freezer. They all got out and stuffed themselves into the phone booth that was sitting there. Sir Jay dialed 1-2-3 and the whole phone booth shot downward into the planet. It stopped when it got to the lab.

"Okay," said Sir Jay as he walked over to one of the computer displays and pressed a lot of buttons (they were all real, too). The word "locating" popped up onto the screen. Then a map of the solar system they were in popped up. Sir Jay looked for the little red dot. "Aha!" he said when he found it. "They'll be impacting the surface in about a minute." He walked over to the phone booth and taped a sign to it that said "dial 1-2-3 for operator." Then he picked up the phone next to the booth and dialed 3-2-1. The empty booth shot upwards to the surface. Captain Curt didn't like this idea much because he didn't want to have his head ripped off again.

"Hey!" shouted Doctor Erin, "Wake up, we're going to hit that planet!" They hit the planet with a whack. When they decided it was safe to get out of their capsule, Pastor Nancy noticed the other escape capsule. After they had made sure there was nobody in the other capsule, they walked over to the phone booth.

"Dial 1-2-3 for operator," said the sign. They got inside the booth and Doctor Erin dialed 1-2-3. The phone booth shot downwards into the planet once again. When they got out at the lab, they noticed a long table with a very large chocolate cake on it. For a reason they never did figure out, they both felt compelled to eat all of it, so they did.

Further back in the lab, Sir Jay and Captain Curt were working on their plan. Stupid Robbie was watching. He wouldn't have been there, but he was too stupid to figure out that he died on the copy of the Happyfries when it blew up.

"Don't touch that!" But Sir Jay was too late. Captain Curt had already pressed the button marked "fry" and ordered a medium fries which shot down from the ceiling into an indentation on the table in front of him. He had expected Stupid Robbie to get fried like when Sir Jay pressed the fire button, but obviously that's not the way this button worked. Sir Jay made Captain Curt share the fries with him.

"Oh," groaned Doctor Erin who had eaten approximately five cubic feet of chocolate cake.

"Yeah," agreed Pastor Nancy who had eaten approximately twenty cubic feet of chocolate cake. Sir Jay had set up this table full of chocolate cake and had his computer play a song that was found to have a mind-controlling influence on most people. It was a song by Nirvana with lyrics modified by Camp Michigamme kitchen staff to say "I love chocolate cake, I love chocolate cake..."

The two serial killers were now quite large. There had been a theory proposed a while back that if one was to consume a large enough mass of food in a short enough time, that one would generate a strong enough gravity to be able to attract small objects. Sir Jay thought that if two were to consume a large enough mass of food in a short enough time, those two would generate strong enough gravities to attract one another.

They started walking down the hallway and Pastor Nancy tripped and fell on Doctor Erin. Doctor Erin let out a grunt. When they got up, they found that they were being held together by a strange unseen force. They decided to ignore it and continue down the hallway. They couldn't move very fast being so large, and being stuck together didn't help much either.

"What do you mean you lost it?" screamed Sir Jay, "It's a hole! How could you lose a hole?" Stupid Robbie looked at his feet. Sir Jay heard people coming and forgot about yelling at Stupid Robbie. Pastor Nancy and Doctor Erin reached the doorway; still held together by their own gravities. Sir Jay pushed Stupid Robbie at them and led the others down a different hallway. Pastor Nancy hadn't ripped off any heads lately, so she took this opportunity to end Stupid Robbie's life for the second time. She then pursued the others.

Sir Jay got to the place where he kept all the ships when his freezer was full and got into one of the copies of the Happyfries. Sergeant Jess followed him while Captain Curt and Miss Molly got into a different one. They took off and the two villains got onto a different ship that was not a copy of the Happyfries. Somebody must have forgotten to take their ship home. The two Happyfries copies went into really fast speed. Sir Jay put his copy on "autopilot--follow lead of Happyfries #4" mode and took Sergeant Jess with him to build another one of what Stupid Robbie had lost. This was how Sir Jay planned to finally conquer the evils that were Pastor Nancy and her accomplice.

Captain Curt was having his copy of the Happyfries figure out how long it would take for the bad guys to catch up to them at all kinds of distances from the planet. Sir Jay used the communication thing to tell Captain Curt that he needed twenty minutes to finish the device that would serve as the final imprisonment of the two psychopathic serial killers. No, Nancy, I won't tell you what it is yet. Captain Curt's ship hadn't come up with the right distance to give Sir Jay the right amount of time, so he just guessed. The two copies of the Happyfries stopped and Captain Curt and Miss Molly beamed over to Sir Jay's copy. They hid behind a conveniently located asteroid because Captain Curt had guessed wrong and Sir Jay needed more time.

"We're almost there," said Doctor Erin.

"Okay," said Pastor Nancy who was still being held to Doctor Erin by something neither of them could ever hope to understand, "take us out of sort of fast speed." They saw the Happyfries in front of them and tried to talk to them. There was no response.

"Darn," said Doctor Erin who had wanted to say a nifty bad guy "I've got you now" type phrase. After many shots with their wimpy little flashlight beam, the Happyfries blew up. They realized that it had not made any attempt to defend against them. They had no idea why until they remembered that there were two Happyfries out there.

"They've found us," said Captain Curt, "You ready with that thing?"

"Not quite," said Sir Jay, "Try to stall them."

The face of Pastor Nancy appeared on the viewscreen. "Prepare to be boarded." Pastor Nancy and Doctor Erin beamed onto the Happyfries with two by fours that they began hitting everyone with. Captain Curt ducked under a swinging board that hit the guy at the controls. He was knocked unconscious on the controls that started flashing "Teacup and saucer separation."

Captain Curt pressed a button marked "pause" and ran down to the room where Sir Jay was working on the holding device for Pastor Nancy. Two black ninjas jumped down from the ceiling and hit him a few times and then blindfolded him. Captain Curt staggered in to the room. Sir Jay noticed that it was Captain Curt and told him to hold still. Captain Curt realized that the pause button didn't work from room to room.

"Good job stalling for time," said Sir Jay, "I'm almost done now. The black ninjas will remove your blindfold when you leave."

"The separation sequence was activated, brace yourself for it." Captain Curt started walking toward the nearest wall.

"No, over here," whispered one of the black ninjas. Captain Curt turned and walked back to the doorway. The black ninjas jumped down and hit him a few times before removing the blindfold. He walked back to where he was before and pressed the pause button again. Everyone started moving again. Captain Curt ducked under something and waited while Pastor Nancy and Doctor Erin continued "boarding" his crew. He pressed a button next to him and told Sir Jay the separation was about to happen. The video camera shook and everyone fell in different directions. Captain Curt sprung from his hiding place and grabbed the two boards and ran down the hall.

"Ha ha, you can't catch me!" That did it. There was no way that evil people could ignore a challenge like that. They began chasing him down the hall to the room where Sir Jay had his trap ready. The black ninjas jumped down from the doorway and hit and blindfolded Captain Curt.

Sir Jay looked up from the other side of the room. "Uh-oh," he said to himself so the people watching this on video could tell what was happening, "Captain Curt's going to fall into the trap for Pastor Nancy and Doctor Erin! What can I do?" He heard a big rip back on the other side of the room and two guys fell on the floor. They picked up Captain Curt and pressed buttons on their shoes that rocketed them back up where they had come from. "Huh?" By then the two villains, who were on their way to becoming only one villain, had been hit and blindfolded. They were staggering towards the device Sir Jay had built for them. Pastor Nancy let out a shriek as they fell into it. It was a pit filled with foam cubes. Sir Jay had done some studies on Pastor Nancy's physical capabilities (hey, he did used to be Professor Jay) and found that this was the only thing that could hold her. Since Doctor Erin was stuck to Pastor Nancy, she couldn't escape either.

There was another big rip and those two guys fell on the floor with Captain Curt. They reached down to press the buttons on their shoes again, but Sir Jay stopped them.

"Hold it! Who are you guys?"

One of them took out some kind of computer panel and pressed some buttons on it. "I am Wayfarer Curt."

"And I am Wayfarer Steve," said the other one. He turned to Wayfarer Curt. "What kind of names are those?"

"This story must have the same author as ours," explained Wayfarer Curt. He pressed more buttons on his computer panel. "Yep."

"What?" asked Captain Curt.

"We have to be going now," said Wayfarer Steve. They pressed the buttons on their shoes and rocketed back up to where they had come from. (Their story?)

"Okay then," said Sir Jay, "what should we do now?"

"We could start by taking off my blindfold."

"Oh yeah." Sir Jay walked over to Captain Curt and took off the blindfold. Then he told the black ninjas that he didn't need them anymore. They jumped down and disappeared in a puff of smoke when they hit the ground. Sergeant Jess and Miss Molly came in. They discussed what they should do with the villains and decided to keep them in the pit and feed them Convo food. They were going to go to a far off planet's moon and beam the pit with them in it down to the surface. Captain Curt pressed a button and told the guy at the controls to go into really fast speed to that planet.

"How's it going to work again?" asked Miss Molly.

"When the pit is beamed down, the rock from the moon will fill up the empty space that otherwise would've been left there," explained Sir Jay. Captain Curt, who had been looking out the window, noticed a sign that said "YOU ARE NOW ARRIVING AT: FAR OFF PLANET."

"Um, Sir Jay," he said, "we're here."

"Not now, Captain Curt, I'm explaining this to Miss Molly." He sat there for a minute, not saying anything, thinking about what Captain Curt had just told him. "Oh CRAP!" He turned the steering wheel to the left, causing everyone to fall to the right (they rehearsed this scene better). When they reached Far Off Planet again, Sir Jay took the ship out of really fast speed.

"Wait a minute," said Captain Curt, "didn't the teacup and saucer section separate back there?"

They heard the familiar sound of the big rip and someone they hadn't seen before fell on the floor. "Hello there, I am..." he pressed some buttons on his computer panel, "...Wayfarer Jay. The other two that visited you before put your ship back together before you left." He pressed the button on his shoes and rocketed away.

Captain Curt pressed a few buttons on a nearby computer display. "There. They're on the moon. Let's go home."