the girl of my dreams
Would you believe me if I told you that even the best of my dreams I actually prefer to wake up from? A little more than a year ago, I wouldn't have either. Not long ago, however, I realized this as truth. As much as my body complains to me that I should allow it more sleep, my mind has lost its ability to create in a dream a fantasy more desirable than that of my real life experience. It may appear from that explanation that I have lost the ability to dream up a decent fantasy, but on the contrary I tell you that the change is not in my dreams, it is in my life experience.
I used to lie in my bed at the end of each day hoping for a few dreams by which I might escape the events of the day. Of course this desire has left me almost in entirety--all I wish to escape now is going to bed alone. This change has contributed to the decrease in sleep I get. I am fully aware as my body continually reminds me that I didn't even get enough sleep in my previous situation, and here I am now with even less. And I would sleep more--I get the good old, "why don't you just go to bed earlier," or, "don't get up so early on weekends," but it's not as easy as others expect it to be. And it has nothing to do with how much I have to do each day either--I instead believe that the reason I spend less time sleeping is (as I mentioned previously) that I prefer my reality to my dreams. In reality, there's Brit. In dreams there may or may not be, and even if there is, dreams are not real, but reality of course is.
After that last statement you might try to convince me that a dream Brit should be better than a real Brit because in a dream I should be able to have anything I want. Of course this seems valid, but not only is it impossible to have reality in a dream, but the real Brit is actually many times better than anything I could ever dream.
A few days ago I was with her and a song was playing about waking up from an exceptionally wonderful dream. Everything about my relationship with Brit seems too good to be true, so what if it actually IS a dream, and what would I do if I woke up? I cannot think of a time of greater joy than that instant as the tears rolled and I wondered to myself how many people get to live their lives a dream, all the while knowing that there can be no waking up, since after all the whole thing is actually real . . . surely this is true happiness.
comments / complaints / compliments
Mav
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posted: 5:25:42 pm, may 27, 2004
I hope for you this true happiness stays forever. It's really unique. All I can do is dream about something like this. I think I found the girl, now she only has to find me too... Mustang, this is Maverick requesting flyby? |
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themaximus
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posted: 5:42:36 am, aug 15, 2004
Whoa. Did I say that? I must have been in some fsckin' trance.
www.maxkelley.com |
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misterhaan
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posted: 6:48:13 am, aug 15, 2004
no, MavDude said that. the script was a little broken though, so it was showing all posts as being from whichever user was logged in . . . please note that the above post is likely made up in its entirety. |
| shahram |
posted: 5:28:08 pm, mar 17, 2005
verry good afarin |
| Mickey |
posted: 4:16:42 am, mar 31, 2008
Somebody said life is just an illusion, nothing is real. |
